December 13, 2006, 2:49 p.m.
Let’s back up. The last time I really wrote about my time here was overwhelmingly long ago. I will attempt to make up for those months of not writing by recovering it bit by bit. Today's bit:
In late September, Nicole visited me. This was an important time for me because I had just made it through the winter – literally and figuratively. It had been cold, dark, and I had been isolated. I had spent a lot of time writing in my journal, reflecting, reading books and growing and thinking. And while good, it was a closed-off period. I oscillated between feeling enlightened and just bored. And like I said, I have a lot of wonderful acquaintances down here but no close friends. Having a close friend come out was like breathing a sigh of relief, like coming home. It was indescribable to have someone who really cared about me, who really listened, who wanted to hear my thoughts and whose stories I could listen to without ‘working.’ I take this kind of connection for granted when it’s around all the time. I suppose I take my friends for granted the way anyone does, so the months without any connection were a good wake-up call. I appreciate the people in my life more now and can’t wait to get home to them. Anyway Nicole came and we had many full days. It was a very short trip so we covered only the essentials in the city – the leather district, the cemetery with Evita and the cats, and the breathtaking Teatro Colon with its equally breathtaking ballet dancers in Swan Lake. Then we were off to Calafate to see the glaciars.
Ahhh, the adventure of travel. After a ludicrous – yes I believe we can deem it that, don’t you Nicole? given the Cro-magnons in the airport, our handsome suit-man who was unable to get us on the next flight, and the random Irish ticket agent – trip down, we celebrated the impeccable, cozy nature of our hostel-which-was-really-a-hotel, and promptly bought tickets for a boat tour the following morning to see the icebergs and glaciers. Glacier National Park in Patagonia is one of the world’s treasures. It’s like seeing Antarctica or the North Pole, only in Spanish. So our first day we hopped a boat in the cold and fog to see five glaciers in one day, courtesy of the glacial lake that links them. They were beautiful, icebergs floating on a gray sea of mist and ice. Then the next day we took a tour through the hostel to see Perito Moreno, the star of the glacial show. How can I describe it, the vast expanse of frozen blue beauty, the crystalline liquid majesty? The day was magnificent and the glacier was spectacular. I can still taste the crisp, icy air and feel the expanse of that solid cold wall. It was beautiful.
Back to present day Buenos Aires, four of my friends flaked on going to dinner the other night and I was annoyed. And sad. I will be glad to get back to SF where people actually want to spend time with me. That’s not fair, most of the flakes did want to spend time with me but are of that species who either prioritize things over people (the ‘studiers’) or are simply weak (the ‘sick’). Lately I have had that familiar clutching feeling that I had at Stanford when people wouldn’t go out with me, that desperate, frantic clenching in my stomach, the dizzying frustration of wanting to be free and young and careless and stay out late and do life dark and wild, but trapped by the people around me, the conventional, the mundane, those who lack my energy. I am an intense person and I need intensity to thrive. Otherwise, I’m just surviving.
And why is it so hard to say goodbye to things? I’m looking at my things to decide what to take and what to leave when I go … I have a week left and I don’t want to be super rushed and stressed at the end. So I’m going through my drawers and shelves, examining my new purchases and old faithfuls and deciding what to leave behind. But it’s difficult – due to the lack of libraries here I’ve had to order all the books I have read, and they have impacted my life so much that it’s hard to say goodbye. How can I trash I’m OK, You’re OK, a book that helped me understand and forgive important people in my life, or The Road Less Traveled, which made me more compassionate and filled me with wonder? How do I let go of any of the Weiss books, which have each touched me to the core? The same goes for certain items of clothing – stretched and stained, they have served me well and it’s hard to say goodbye. Perhaps it’s because I travel so much, but I’m having a hard time leaving a tanktop that I vividly recall wearing during dark nights in Barcelona when I thought I would never recover from being sick, during clear days in Japan eating green tea ice cream and visiting temples bright with autumn leaves, and damp nights in Costa Rica, sliding into bed under my mosquito net. How am I supposed to get rid of that tanktop, when its history is my history, and it knows all the curves of my body? Perhaps is it so hard to say goodbye to things not only because they represent us and reflect who we are, but because we do actually leave our energy imprint on them – a little bit of my aura, my being, will go with that shirt. It actually pained me to place it in the ‘give away’ bag.
In a similar vein from last week, here are some more things I will and won’t miss about my home for the past 10 months:
What I will miss: The easy public transportation. I have already mentioned this, and I might again because I’m going to miss it that much. Buenos Aires has a good subway system. It closes at midnight, which is unfortunate, but it’s quite convenient for getting around the city during the day, and it’s reliable. You know that if you leave the house at 3pm, you’ll be there by 3:30, even if you miss the first train. Also, the buses run all day and all night, and not only that, but they run frequently. This is a really big deal. I remember going out in Geneva and barreling down my street because I knew that if I missed the 7:15pm bus, there wouldn’t be another until 8:05pm. Buses that run every 45 minutes are stressful – if you miss them and you’re trying to be on time to any kind of event, play, party, dance class, milonga, whatever, you’re screwed. You stand there looking mournfully down the street, cursing the tail lights of your 109 or 152, wondering what to do because while it’s a 20-minute bus ride, it’s an hour’s walk, plus as a woman you just don’t walk around cities alone at night. Ever. Plus you’re not in the most comfortable of shoes and now by the time you get there … anyway needless to say, it’s a big annoying thing. Here, though, it is unusual to wait more than 10-15 minutes for a bus. They are, or course, miserable at rush hour, but whose public transportation system isn’t? Then there are the ever-present, supercheap taxis, which make life easy and pleasant. I remember having a lot – LOT – of trouble getting around SF, especially for tango and particularly when anything was in the East Bay. Destinations that were 25 minutes in a car were literally 2 hours by public transportation, and it’s frustrating to have to constantly beg for rides, or give up on your event when you can’t find one. Freedom of movement is a brilliant blessing, one I treasure and will miss dearly.
What I won’t: The pollution. Those same wonderful buses pour foul black smoke from their diesel engines, and raise the decibel level of the city at least tenfold. My faux Uggs have a layer of grime on them so thick that they are a completely different color than they were when I arrived. Plus you literally cannot hear a single word of the person next to you when they pass – that can’t be doing any favors to your eardrums. Give me the sleek Geneva trams or quiet San Francisco electric buses any day.
What I will miss: The trusting nature of the Argentines. I have already mentioned the café episode, but the same thing has happened to me on several occasions, including a taxi driver who wouldn’t let me leave my backpack with him to go upstairs to fetch him the cash. They are very willing to take you at your word, even when there is no reason for you to come back and pay them other than common decency.
What I won’t: The unbelievably untrusting nature of the Argentines. They lock **everything**. I swear to God, my local Blockbuster has more security than Fort Knox. You have to get buzzed in and out of practically everywhere, including clothing shops, dance studios, all private buildings, and the inner door to many of those same places (yes, many have both an outer and inner door). And my question is, why? They don’t even look at you when they buzz you in, so what’s the point? Plus, it makes the entire country of Argentina a fire hazard. Not only do you have to have a key to get into apartments, you often have to have a key to get out. Luckily in ours you don’t need a key to get out of the actual flat, but you do need one for the door downstairs. Do you realize this means that in the event of a fire you would have to find your keys before you rushed out? I’m not kidding about this – I misplace my keys often enough that this would be an actual concern, and Cindy would be as dead as the doorknob she wasn’t turning.
What I will miss: The demonstrations. People here demonstrate. They get out in the streets and they bring signs and they make their voices heard. Ever since Perón the Argentines have had a history of public outcry as an institution, and I like it. I like seeing the people beating the drums and fighting for no more layoffs. I like seeing how they all come together to shout in Plaza de Mayo for the sanctity of their public hospitals. They aren’t apathetic and it’s something to admire.
What I won’t: The lack of vegetarian options. Look, I’m not a freak. I just choose not to eat the flesh of animals. I do this for several reasons, including my own health, the fact that it is better for the environment, and because I’m disgusted by the general disconnect between people and the true understanding that what is on their plate was once a living thing, that it was alive and was killed, probably in a sickening, crowded, bone-crunching, squealing, screaming slaughterhouse kind of way. Anyway – the point is, I have to very carefully choose which restaurants I go to here or I’m screwed. The only option on the menu for a vegetarian is pasta, and it usually comes with – you guessed it – meat sauce. I know it’s not fair to judge another culture, but here we go: What the hell? Is it really that hard to be even a little bit creative or imaginative with entrées that aren’t meat? Maybe, let’s say, at least ONE? How about zucchini lasagna, or goat cheese salad with walnuts, or noodles with peanut sauce, or just a nice dish of rice, beans, avocado, and platano (like um, I don’t know, the REST OF LATIN AMERICA?) There are LOTS of options for those of us who don’t want cow on a plate. Cry for me, Argentina. I’m dying here.
What I will miss: The ubiquitous fruit and vegetable stands. New York is good about this too, except that everything in New York is about $25/lb. But back to here, it’s great to be able to walk two blocks to get that extra tomato you need for the recipe, or some cherries for after dinner, or just an avocado for your salad, rather than trekking all the way to the closest grocery store (which, ok, is actually only 3 blocks from me, but still you have to stand in line, blah blah blah). It’s just great to have fresh produce right there, convenient, all the time – on the way home from the bus you can pick up that extra head of lettuce and voilá, you are more inspired to eat healthy food.
What I won’t: The constant battle for change (as in, coins and small bills). Why is it that every single Argentine salesperson, no matter the business, be it an upscale retail department store, small neighborhood café, local grocery store, boutique shop, dance studio, or whatever else, always, always, always asks, “Tenés algo más chico?” (Do you have anything smaller?) Wtf? I really don’t get this, ESPECIALLY at the little kiosks which are a completely cash business. What do they do, clear out their cash register every 15 minutes? If you were a cash business, by 8pm, after a 12-hour workday, wouldn’t you have a register full of bills? Equally annoying are the taxi drivers who literally show up to the job without change. You try to pay a $5 fare with a $20 and they’re like “Oooh, I can’t. Anything smaller?” When you inform them that no, in fact, you don’t have anything smaller they give you this dirty look, like it’s your fault, instead of the fact that they are the economically misinformed twit for coming to work in a CASH BUSINESS with nothing smaller than a $20. Honestly, what the hell?
What I will miss: Being two blocks from my gym, Blockbuster, two grocery stores, an order-in pizza place, a parrilla, two parks, a hair salon, a subway stop, a café with free WiFi, several bus stops, two ice cream places, and a healthy bakery.
What I won’t: Being 7,000 miles from the people I love.
What I will miss: The exchange rate! I can order a 6 peso orange juice because it’s really only $2. I can go to a 40 peso meal because it’s really only $13.50. My favorite milonga here costs exactly $1. I can go across town for US$4 in a taxi or buy cherries for $2/lb – a POUND, people. The economic freedom here is truly astonishing.
What I won’t: The woeful absence of peanut butter.
What I will miss: The tango. I’m going to miss the sit-around tables that circle the dance floor where you can gossip and gawk. I’m going to miss the heat coming off the dance floor when a particularly sultry couple slides by. I’m going to miss the fierce, dangerous heels and the finesse of the dancers in wrapping them around legs, toes, hips. Mostly I’m going to miss being able to spend an entire evening just watching, that the quality of dance is so high it’s like going to a tango show every time you go out.
What I won't: The inevitable feeling of inadequacy that comes with that.
__________
So Will, Emily and I have come up with a fun new drinking game (this actually works): One person opens the websites for The Onion, CNN, and Fox News, and reads headlines. The other people have to guess which website the headline comes from and whoever gets it wrong has to drink. For example, can you guess where these come from? (Scroll down for the answer).
1) Big wheel 'would upset rhino sex'
2) Puppy Chews Off Baby's Toes While Parents Sleep
3) Egyptian Conservationists Fight To Protect Dwindling Mummy Population
Or how about this one:
“NASHVILLE, Tennessee -- It is considered polite to light a match after passing gas. Not while on a plane.
An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.
The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.
The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.
"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up."
The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident.”
That, my friends, was a real story from the AP, as reported by several news sources including CNN.
________
From the last novel I read, All The Names by José Saramago:
“… the beginning of a design made up, like that of all lives, of broken lines, crossings, intersections, but never bifurcations, because the spirit never goes anywhere without its legs, and the body would be incapable of moving without the wings of the spirit.”
“ … lives are like paintings, you always need to look at them from four paces away, even if one day you manage to touch their skin, catch their smell, taste them.”
“It had proved a difficult dialogue, with traps and false doors swinging open at every step, the slightest slip could have dragged him into a full and complete confession if his mind had not been attentive to the multiple meanings of the words he carefully pronounced, especially those that appeared to have only one meaning, those are the ones you have to be the most careful with. Contrary to what is generally believed, meaning and sense were never the same thing, meaning shows itself at once, direct, literal, explicit, enclosed in itself, univocal, if you like, while sense cannot stay still, it seethes with second, third and fourth senses, radiating out in different directions that divide and subdivide into branches and branchlets, until they disappear from view, the sense of every word is like a star hurling spring tides out into space, cosmic winds, magnetic perturbations, afflictions.”
“The darkness opened like black water and closed behind him.”
“ … the mysterious moonlight, and, in particular, the strange cemetery surrounding him, an assembly of suicides, a gathering of silences that, from one moment to the next, might begin to scream.”
“… it is there that he jerks awake, startled by the wind buffeting his face or when the silence and stillness of the air grew so profound that his drowsing spirit began to dream about the cries of a world sliding into the void.”
“The human spirit, though, how often do we need to say it, is the favourite home of contradictions, indeed they do not seem to prosper or even find viable living conditions outside it…”
And on a lighter note:
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.
In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.
The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."
He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."
The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."
Quotes:
The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse
Dennis Miller
The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
Slappy White
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
Muhammad Ali
A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.
Dennis Miller
__________
Language spot:
From a customer’s comments to the editor:
"Essay Question:
"You may right your personal statement on any subject of importance that you feel will assist us in our decision."
Additional Instructions:
Please be brutal.”
And Cutest Award this week goes to:
Dear Melanie,
Thank you!!!
I really appreciate your help.
If you were here in Korea, I would like to treat something delicious for you.
Thank you.
Finally, courtesy of Christina, here are some suggestions for alternative gifts this year. Give things and be a good person:
Need to get any presents this month? Find something unique for everyone this holiday season, whether it be your tea-loving aunt who would never find high-quality Kenyan teas on the U.S. market, an entrepreneur parent who’ll think being able to have helped start a business on $100 is fabulous, or your sister who’ll be psyched to find a green opal necklace from Sri Lanka in her stocking.
People have randomly been coming to me seeking non-traditional gift ideas which I do actually tend to have! J I thought that as the holiday season gets into swing and people are trying to figure out what unique, clever and thoughtful gifts to get, I could contribute some thoughts to make you into both the coolest gift giver ever and socially-responsible world citizen. I admit upfront that my list of alternative gift ideas is skewed heavily towards the international…that’s just how it is, folks. I have ranging amounts of personal knowledge about all of the businesses/organizations I’ve listed, so feel free to ask me more about any specifically! I have either tangible items on my desk or great stories from each of the organizations below, just come by 10F and ask J
Tangible gift items…
0. Good magazine (www.goodmagazine.com): entire $20 subscription fee to this cool socially-conscious magazine goes to the charity of your choice (Ashoka, CityYear and more!)
0. Highland Tea Co. (www.highlandteacompany.com): World’s highest quality tea supports economic development of Kenyan tea farmers—Wanja, the Kenyan woman who started the company, has a great story, and the teas are (again) on my desk and amazing if you want to smell/try them!
0. Worldstock (www.worldstock.com): Handcrafted jewelry and other items from artisans around the developing world; products are environmentally sound and support local incomes
0. Women for Women (www.womenforwomen.org/bazaar.htm): Clothes and jewelry made by women in war-torn regions working to rebuild their lives
0. Shokay (www.shokay.com): Ester Hsu’s (Bain Boston SAC on externship) company sells scarves and throws made from 100% yak bought from yak herders in the Himalayans of Western China; in addition to giving them a fair price for the raw yak fiber, Shokay will reinvest a portion of the profits in community development projects
Or give a gift to an awesome cause in someone’s honor:
Village Enterprise Fund (www.villageef.org): $100 sponsors seed-capital for a business of 5 people in rural East Africa, giving poor entrepreneurs an opportunity to make income that is often used to feed the family during cyclical downturns and send children to school. I volunteered for the last year in Tanzania and Kenya with them, and can attest to their effectiveness, as over 93% of businesses started are continuing 3-5 years later.
African Leadership Academy (www.africanleadershipacademy.org): Innovative school being started in South Africa aiming to develop the next generation of ethical and effective African leaders; immortalize the person you’d like to honor with a brick in their name on the school’s grounds
Heifer International (http://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQNiFiG/b.204586/): Make a gift of a goat, buffalo, pig or more to a family in a developing country in someone’s honor -- Heifer will send the recipient a great gift card explaining how the gift of livestock is working towards poverty alleviation and how the gift will keep on giving (recipients agree to give the first female offspring to another needy family).
One Acre Fund (www.oneacrefund.org): Working to alleviate hunger in Africa by providing small amounts of seed and fertilizer on credit, training and market access to poor rural farmers: sponsoring one investment package costs $240 for a family of six (or $20/month), though donations towards any part of that can be made.
Final thought on giving these types of gifts: they’re great especially for the person who doesn’t really need another “thing”, and might be excited about the idea of supporting an innovative idea that’s working to change the world, especially if they have specific interests in education, business, agriculture or African development. I’ve either given or received all of the above, and have gotten great responses.
Happy holidays!
Christina
Answers to news quiz:
a) CNN
b) Fox News
c) The Onion
